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Thermostat Wars

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The weather has cooled, so in living rooms, workplace offices, and church sanctuaries, an epic battle has begun—a mighty struggle between two forces, fighting for control, the fate of their world in the balance. Perhaps you yourself are a combatant in…the thermostat war.

On one side, the Tropics. These folks want to feel like Jamaica in July. They are heat-seeking missiles who buy heated jackets, heated blankets, and cars with heated seats. Their house feels like a sauna, and if they worked in a wax museum, the figures would melt because temps would be set to “surface of the sun.” If the globe is warming, it’s because somewhere a Tropic secretly found the Earth’s thermostat and turned it up. It was probably your mom.

On the other side, the Arctics. These folks want to feel like Juneau in January. They are cool customers who want their house polar-bear-friendly. If your boss is an Arctic and you’re not, you keep a sweater at work and could make snow angels in the breakroom because temps are set to “meat locker.” One December, an Arctic grew tired of his family turning up the thermostat, so he put “Christmas Calculator” above the dial. The warmer temps were labeled “fewer presents” and the colder temps were labeled “more presents.” This was probably your dad.

In every environment, these two sides struggle for control. Will the living room feel like the Mojave Desert? Will the church sanctuary feel like the Siberian tundra?

I’m going to ask you to play a part in winning the thermostat war.

I’ll confess: I’m an Arctic. My wife is not. (Dating sites should match people solely by thermostat settings.) We just bought her a car with heated seats. Meanwhile, I run my car A/C on low. (My children: “Noses are red, fingers are blue, we’re freezing here, dad, ‘cause we’re riding with you.”) I like sleeping with a ceiling fan on, and when I’m by myself, I turn the hotel room thermostat all the way down.

But when I’m not by myself, I have learned—slowly, over the years—to live with what experts call a “hospitable temperature.” Did you know that OSHA officially recommends that public indoor settings be kept between 68-76°? One journal cited a study showing “office temperature has a significant impact on productivity, cognitive performance” and can even contribute to “nasty office politics.” Finding a “hospitable temperature” is important.

And right now, that’s a problem at Ozark Christian College. But you can help…

Most of our buildings are in good shape thermostat-wise, but one is not: the Multi-Purpose Building. The MPB houses our gym and hosts big events like CIY conferences, NCCAA national sports tournaments, Getaway, The Event, Preaching-Teaching Convention, and Commencement. As our largest on-campus venue (seating 1,700), it’s where we welcome our greatest number of guests. But there’s a problem…

My son Carl is 22, a senior at OCC, and when he played for the Ozark men’s basketball team, he won the Hustle Award. He loved playing for Coach Chris Lahm, except for one thing. “Dad,” Carl asked one day, “Why does Coach set the gym SO HOT?” He told me he’d completely soaked his jersey because basketball practice felt like a Brazilian rainforest. “It’s great for working up a big sweat,” he said. “But isn’t that a waste of money? Why does Coach set the MPB that high? We’re cooking.” Carl is an Arctic and thought Coach was an out-of-control Tropic.

I explained: it wasn’t Coach Lahm’s fault. Yes, our MPB at times gets wildly hot, but that was the thermostat’s fault. Then I gave Carl more information than he wanted. (Dads do this.) “We have these old pneumatic controllers for the HVAC system in the MPB. They’re original to the building, which was built in the early 1980s, and now they just randomly malfunction. Controlling the temp in there is a roll of the dice.”

At OCC, we’re not at war OVER the thermostat. It’s war WITH the thermostat! That’s trouble because…

In recent days, the MPB thermostat war is getting worse. Sometimes—because of the old pneumatic controllers—the MPB temperatures can soar into the 80s and even 90s. Carl is right: it is a waste of money. Worse: in the room where we practice the most hospitality, it creates a very inhospitable temperature.

Spiritually, God wants us hot or cold, not lukewarm, but physically, God did not design our bodies for temperature extremes. God precisely created Earth for human habitation—plenty of liquid H2O, the exact right amount of oxygen, a magnetic shield to protect from harmful rays, gravity that neither crushes nor floats us into space—and part of carefully calibrating this planet for human life was the climate. He created Earth’s tilt and distance from the sun so that we would neither freeze nor fry.

The Thermostat-Setter set our home at a “hospitable temperature.” We want to do that for MPB guests.

In January, we’ve hired Joplin’s Satterlee Plumbing and HVAC to replace the old pneumatic controllers with electronic controllers that are reliable and accurate. I know nothing about HVAC systems, but I’m told this includes “new temperature sensors, damper actuators, water control valves, communication wiring, relays for pumps and fans, and a new control panel.” (So it’s more than just thermostats.)

With a generous discount from our friends at Satterlee, the total project cost is $150,000. Would you consider a generous gift to OCC’s general fund to help with this project?

Every February, we host the annual Preaching-Teaching Convention. A thousand or more church leaders from across the country come to campus for three days of worship, preaching, workshops, fellowship, and meals at a few of Joplin’s eight million restaurants. (We’ve got a Joplin eatery for every letter from A-Z, except X.) This year, we’ll welcome Andrew Peterson in concert, and many tired servants will be refreshed.

Unless, of course, we can’t get the thermostats fixed. Then they might faint from heat exhaustion.

But with new controllers, here’s our promise: we won’t let Arctics run the thermostat (like Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg, who keeps his office at a numbing 59°). Nor will we let Tropics turn the MPB into a sweat lodge. We’ll set the temperature reasonably and “offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” (1 Pet 4:9) And many kingdom servants will be recharged for another year of ministry.

Would you consider a gift to OCC’s general fund to help us welcome MPB guests with new temperature controllers?

This Christmas season, in a world of conflicts far worse than “thermostat wars,” the good news is: a Savior has come to bring peace on earth. “He will mediate between nations and will settle international disputes. They will hammer their swords into plowshares…Nation will no longer fight against nation, nor train for war anymore. Come… let us walk in the light of the Lord!” (Is 2:4-5)

Thank you for considering partnership in our mission of training men and women to share that message, and from all of us at OCC, have a merry Christmas!

Yours in Christ,

Matt Proctor
President

P.S. We hope you’ll join us for the 2025 Preaching-Teaching Convention. Whether you walk in with a hot Starbucks coffee or an ice-cold Sonic drink, you’ll be gladly welcomed! For more details, go to occ.edu/pt.

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